It's Always Worth It

I have noticed that I have used the phrase, or something similar to it, It's always worth it at least two, possibly more, times so far in my blog posts. Now that wouldn't generally be a problem but because of how few blog posts there are that's a pretty high percentage rate. I think I ought to clarify exactly what that means to me.

The restless nights of wishing I had somebody other than Hamilton to cuddle. The days in class where the only notes that get taken are Cody. CDE <3 <3 <3. The moments when I want something to hold besides my phone. The walks around campus when there only seems to be couples holding hands in my path. When a Grey's Anatomy trailer comes on and I remember what it was like to watch season after season with him. The looks on people's faces when I tell them, Yes, I am dating a Marine. Yes we are 783 miles apart. No, we are not breaking up because it. Yes, we passed our mental exams. All of these reasons and so many more are why I end up going a little bit crazy from time to time.

But...

The cute random text messages I get throughout my day. The pictures I see that remind me of what it is like to be in his arms. Those less than perfect days when the boy takes it into his hands to video chat with me to make sure I'm okay. The moment when I finally get to see his face in person after so long of only seeing him through technology. The first time I get to touch him and make sure he is still real after the separation. The times when he opens up and says something that knocks me off my feet. Those are the reasons, and countless others (I could bore you to tears with reasons why I'm still here), that I stay.

The bad things, suck. I won't lie. It's not fun to be in a long distance relationship, I just thank God I'm not raising any children on my own, yet. I didn't ask for us to be apart, and neither did he. We are just doing our absolute best to dodge the punches that life is throwing at us. But those bad things don't even compare to the good. None of the bad things are detrimental to our relationship. They aren't easy or fun, but they can be dealt with if we want to put the effort in. We do.

Getting to see the boy again after 3 months of only letters to write was worth the tears, heartache, and carpal tunnel I dealt with while he was at boot camp. Every moment we get to spend together is worth the struggles, the distance, the long drive, and everything else. It takes strength on everybody's part, but it's always worth it.

Dear Marine,

I know Cody just checked in here so he won't be back for a few days, which makes me want to write about him! I haven't written a letter to the boy in quite some time, but I wrote one a day while he was away. And I became quite the poet. Just kidding! It's amazing how attached you get to writing on a regular basis. I miss it, so... Today I'm going to write to him again. You may not want to read it. You may love to read it. The decision is yours.

Cody,

It's been way too long since I have seen your face. Granted we just facetimed last weekend, but that doesn't cut it for me. I want to see your face in real time. Soon enough, boy. Soon enough. You better start looking for Halloween things to do while I'm there!

Have I told you lately just how special you are? Probably not, because you have been so busy with your nose in your books. It amazes me. I knew you were smart, but I guess your fabulous grades and motivation in high school and PCC was shadowing my judgement. I have never once doubted your ability to pass this class with flying colors. I can see that you get frustrated some days because the concept hasn't quite stuck yet. Keep your chin up, I know that once you get your head set on something, you don't give up. I haven't once seen you fail something when you were determined to succeed. And you ooze determination right now.

You are absolutely amazing. You don't see it, I know, but trust me on this one. I'm not sure you realize the amount of people that are out there supporting you. Perhaps the fault lies partly on them for not telling you, or perhaps it lies partly on you for blinding yourself to it. I actually had the president of APO come up to me and ask how you were. He got your name right and everything. I was beyond impressed. These people wouldn't be around supporting you if you didn't mean something to them (okay, Greg has never met you but ignore that point). You can bring almost anybody's spirits up and your quick wit will knock them right out of their chair. You have a heart bigger than most, although you will quickly disagree with that since Marine's don't have hearts. Pshaw.

I want you to appreciate and enjoy your time in Pensacola. I know that you are ready to leave, but you can't have these moments back. Take advantage of it. I'll be waiting whether you're miserable or not so enjoy it.

The girls are coming down this weekend. I cannot wait to see them. I'm not actually sure the last time I saw Kami in person. It has been way too long. This is another disadvantage of you not being home.

On that note, I don't want you home. Okay. I do. But you can't stay. You have to continue doing this for yourself. You were bored and restless at home. I am beyond proud of you and all that you have accomplished in these 8 months. You have made such a huge change in your life and who you are. And I'm excited that the you I fell in love with didn't leave - he just grew up a little. I am waiting for the day that home has a new location for the two of us and this commuting from one place to the other ends. At least for a few days.

I can't imagine my life without you and I hope I never have to. You have become more than just a boyfriend to me and there is no way you could ever be replaced. I hope you have a fabulous few days of little to no studying (go play with Kyle?).

I love you to the moon and back.
Miss ya,

Love/Hate Relationship

It started out as an innocent question, "What do you think about the marines?" Oh, simple. No. I am not okay with that, so try again. The boy was supposed to be joining the Air Force and he probably would have had he of studied for his ASVAB the first time around like a good boy. He didn't and because of that, the AF started playing games with him. It wasn't nice, but I was happy. I liked having him around and was not ready for him to leave for boot camp yet. Selfish Stephanie...

I've known for quite some time (read: the beginning of the relationship) that this wasn't just some fling. This wasn't going anywhere. We were stuck with each other. Willingly stuck. But stuck. That meant that when he left for AF BMT, I would write him letters and smile happily at him on the day of graduation. So when Sara texted me and asked what was wrong with the boy, I didn't think anything of it. I just asked if he was being cranky with her too because he was being mighty sour to me. Uh wrong. Cranky boy was signing with the Marines.

I was floored. I say it came out of nowhere, but I'm sure he just didn't let anybody see the thoughts that were running through his head. I was mad, though. I was mad that I didn't know about it and wasn't involved in the decision making. I was mad that I was being thrown on this roller coaster without my consent. And I was hurt. I wasn't signing the papers and there wasn't a marriage license on the table giving me any pull so I was stuck in something I knew nothing about it.

It took me more time than I would have liked, but I did come around. I love the USMC for what they have done for the boy. I love the camaraderie they have between each other. And I mostly love how they have made the boy better but left him alone otherwise. I am proud to call him mine and wouldn't ask him to ever give this up, because it is part of him now. But boy! I don't love the distance. I don't love the struggle it puts on us. I miss him. I miss seeing his face on a regular basis. And I miss being a normal relationship. It's wonderful and awful at the same time. A perfect love/hate relationship. I think the boy loves it because it drives me nuts when he doesn't get the opportunity... Precious.

In the end, it is always worth all the troubles. I know we are stronger for this and I appreciate him more and more everyday, but I miss him! The USMC has changed my life, although not as drastically. It has pushed it onto a slightly different path than I had planned. And it will all be okay.

Blog Design

Ugh. I have managed to royally screw up everything on here. I'm still trying to get it to something that I actually like but it's not there yet. Bear with me as I get everything just the way I want it. So if every time you stop by in the next week, it looks completely different, sorry! I'll try to make it quick, but I tend to hit the wrong button and it goes back to boring!

I Eat Mud and Laugh at Danger

To say the last few days of my life have been interesting would be an understatement. They have been quite phenomenal and entertaining.

On Thursday I decided to be a big, bad responsible college student and drove to see my sister and best friend in Lawrence. Not because I really wanted to go to Lawrence, but because I had a sign evaluation on Friday at KSD in Olathe and refused to drive up and back in one day. It was a lot of fun and I'm really glad I got to spend time with J and Lida. Lida and I shared some delicious Froyo and J took me to see the Lion King in 3D - which if you haven't seen, go. Not kidding. Go. Grab the kids. Find a sitter. Whatever. Just go.

The sign evaluation on the other hand... Well let's just say I'm glad I have a few months to work on it. It will take some work, but I'm stealthy so it shouldn't be a problem.

Today. Oh my goodness. I stared danger in the face. And laughed. Twice. Yes, I know. You're jealous, even though you don't know why you're jealous yet. I'll tell you.

First, I'm a Warrior.

And that is my Warrior hat. And I blog in it.

How am I a Warrior, you ask? Let me share. Today, a warm September day, Jessie Menchak and myself became Warriors at a dash made just for Warriors, The Warrior Dash... Look it's their website!

We signed up for this a few weeks ago with a Groupon that I found one day. I convinced Jessie she needed to do it with me and the games began. It's a 3.23 mile obstacle course set up in a Tulsa park that I had never seen before named something about a Turkey. Basically, you run/walk/limp/crawl up and down a large hill and through obstacles. Perhaps a few pictures would help.

 Look how clean we are!

Eyes Closed. I'm such a Strong.

Off we go!

Note: I'm actually "jogging" :-O

 Now, between the picture above and the picture below is an entire obstacle course. Spectators could really only see the last three obstacles without chasing the Warriors around the course. Which would have been neat. But I thank Chris and Jenna for taking the pictures they did, they are great!

The Mud

 If you look closely in the picture above, you can see Jessie and I just getting off of the wall. Which was a miracle. I made it to the top of the wall and flipped. I couldn't make it over to the other side nor was I willing to jump. So I just sat up there. Jessie counted. She gave me looks. She tried everything. And sit I did. After the 10 year old next to me jumped, I followed her lead and we took off to the mud.

Gotta pose.

 A gazelle leap for the finish! I actually ended up in the top 100 of my age group, but um.. there was only like 130 people ;) Oh well! Jessie could have improved her time by probably 5 minutes if she wouldn't have waited around for me, but I'm sure glad she did!

 It took about an hour and we are so amazingly proud of our accomplishment. Don't tell anybody but I actually got my celebratory beer and took a sip before giving it away. Rebel. I know.

The second time I laughed in dangers face today was when I decided that Craigslist was going to be my new best friend. Lida found me a babysitting job on it and it had all the markings of sketchy. I met her at a Wal-mart so I didn't have to travel straight to her house without knowing who she was, and then I followed her to her house. It was an adventure to say the least. I babysat her twins tonight for a few hours and I'm still alive. They are so sweet! 13 months and identical. It has been a beyond delightful day! Baby snuggling and Warrior becoming. What's better?!

To Swim with the Fish

In order to graduate with my degree in hand, I am required to take a science lab. Ugh. I don't wear lab coats. I can't mix solutions without breaking beakers. And those safety goggles make me cringe. I got lucky enough to find a lab that forgoes all of that nonsense and let's us explore hands-on. I took the class that went with the lab in the spring, which went well. The professor is a doll and the material is interesting enough to keep me from completely dying.

This lab though, let me tell you, is a God send. We have had five classes so far, once a week for 2.5 hours. The first one, he handed out the syllabus and said see ya next week. Week 2 we looked at plants, week 3 animals, and week 4 parasites. It was easy enough and at least Harrington kept us interested. Week 5 trumps them all though with a field trip to the Oklahoma Aquarium.

Of course, it couldn't go quite that smoothly. The University of Tulsa clearly blows all the money we give them on landscaping and horrible cafeteria food, because the vehicle we got to take the the aquarium was not doing it. It was an old Ford van that looked like somebody had taken to it with a sledge-hammer and not so much love. Going up ramps, our max was 25. We actually had to stop once on the highway because our engine wasn't running. Here's Harrington trying desperately to make the van move...

We finally got there! It was a true miracle. Kayla and I partnered up. We looked at all sorts of creatures together. I won't share all the pictures I took because I don't want to ruin the magic of the aquarium for anybody wanting to come, but here are some I feel fit to share!

Harrington called some of his buddies and we made it safely back to TU, but not without a decent story to share. Perhaps our trip to the zoo will be as exciting...

Bruno Mars...

...writes songs my boyfriend should sing(gn) to me.


This isn't the song or signer I wanted...

This is the song I wanted, but definitely not the correct signer, but I will live with this because it's cute and slightly creepy.

The one I wanted has been removed from youtube. If I find it, I'll post it later. :)

Until then, enjoy!

A Hurricane for the Cowboys

Not a whole lot has happened lately. I worked at Happy Hands both Thursday and Friday. Boy, I love those kids. They are absolutely the sweetest. I can't share any pictures of them with you, but trust me, they are super cute! The easiest way to share the rest of the week with you is through pictures. Sorry for the overload, but at least it's easy reading!

 I spotted this when I was out with Becca once. Um, what? Why is NAS advertising in Tulsa? Not a whole lot of people are crazy enough to drive 12 hours just for that. I don't count.

Thursday night, Becca, Elissa, Amy, and I went to the Greek Festival in Tulsa. It was quite interesting. We had some Greek food and watched some dancing. Woo culture!

Next up? Football.

We did some pretty serious tailgating where we explored the Army truck. It was really quite lovely. I am terribly bad at shooting from a tank. Thank God I'm not the Marine in this relationship.

Little Elissa checking out the night vision goggles

She was thinking, Who let her on this truck?

 Once we got done tailgating, and I managed to lose everybody, but refound Jessie, we made our way down to the stadium for a fun-filled evening of getting dominated by some cowboys. The game was scheduled for a kick-off time of 9 PM. I'm not sure who decided that but it was a horrible decision.

Right after the band came out and did their opening song and some jazzy sax player did the national anthem we were required to evacuate the stadium because of weather.

Waiting for the footballs to come....

This sign said something to the extent of Leave because a storm is going to eat you if you stay

Leave? Pah! We waited until 9 for this game. Play in the rain!

The sky was actually pink, not that this is a very good representation but it happened. Fo real.

There's Tulsa. Right in the middle of the PINK. Yeah. Lovely.

Apparently during this mini-hurricane nonsense, Lafortune got hit by lightening. I wasn't there so I'm not sure if anything was damaged but it appears to be fine from my room. The game simply couldn't be cancelled so they set the kick-off time for 12:15. I was one of the brave souls that showed up for the game.

The crowd at 9

The crowd at 12

The game actually had a decent show out, but I think at least half of that was OSU fools who just couldn't miss a good butt-whooping. I left at half time absolutely exhausted. We lost. But I'll still cheer for us. I mean we at least gave OSU a hurricane to deal with.

Today I had a meeting for my study at Gallaudet. I can't believe I'm going to be in Washington DC in a couple of months. Awesome! It will probably be the best class I take, and I'm okay with that. Jessie and I then went from there to get some outfit ideas for a great adventure that is going to take place next weekend. I can't tell you what just yet, but hopefully there are a ton of pictures to help you understand.... Here's Jessie's outfit choices..

Yep. I'm excited, too!